In Progress

1/24/11-
This will likely be a post in progress. I might accidentally end mid-sentence making it literally half finished. However, most accurately it will be because 'in progress' is the best way to describe my thoughts at the moment. When I think of 'in progress' the first thing that comes to mind is the sign on the highway telling me that construction is in progress and to proceed with caution. I feel like my ideas are constantly under construction. One minute I feel completely confident in the prospect of going to Tamil Nadu to study aging. The idea feels fully formed in my mind. I can see myself sitting on the veranda visiting with an old grandmother or talking to her teenage daughter about growing older. Then I start to really consider this plan. Often it feels like a jackhammer has just been taken to my most stable foundation. I have no choice but to proceed with great caution.

Is this a bad thing? Painful, yes. Bad, I am going to go with absolutely not. I have some experience doing cross-cultural research. I have studied the topic of aging on some level for nearly 7 years and been interested in it roughly since the age of 6 when I started spending the weekends with my great-grandmother (even if I didn't realize it at the time). Does this mean I know everything? Hardly, I am constantly being reminded of all the things I have yet to learn. This is where the jackhammer or (questioning) comes into play for me. I think that it fits perfectly with the concept of being 'in progress'. Everything that I read or learn adds to my knowledge base. It can also add to my continual progress with my project. I was thinking about literature reviews the other day and realized that I was using the words theoretical or academic discussion. It's not a lecture or speech. One person isn't taking the notes while the other talks non-stop. It is a discussion, by my understanding this would mean a sharing of ideas. A give and take. A continual development and progression of ideas. Unlike addition it is not solved when I learn the answer to one plus one. My ideas and understanding of aging will continually and perhaps exponentially grow if I let them. I am equally excited and nervous about this. I can't wait to learn more. To begin asking questions. Then of course comes the hard part. Am I ready to do the work necessary to search for the answers? Am I ready for the academic jackhammer? Well I sure hope so. I believe I can see the flashing sign now, 'Proceed with Caution, Construction (or rather Learning) in Progress."